September 25, 2011 at 3:57am

hawaiiEverything is so cyclical –
Things you find when you’re cleaning out your life.
This was how things looked a couple of years ago.

I’m ready to come home now.
I’m ready to get on the plane in two days.
I’m ready to throw some things away, to clean out what’s under my bed.
I’m ready to change my cell phone number.
I’m ready to walk my dog and hug her hard.
I’m ready to pack my things as soon as I unpack my luggage.
I’m ready for the smell of my car.
I’m ready to take my little brother on a drive & ask him how he’s been.
I’m ready work with the little guys, to make them laugh really hard.
I’m ready to wear a sweater instead of a bikini.
I’m ready to sleep next to something other than a pile of pillows.
I’m ready to make a campfire.
I’m ready to see my family.
I’m ready to see my other family, the gayer one.
I’m ready for kisses, forehead ones included.
I’m ready for a new pair of shoes, to wear them out in new places.
I’m ready to give up that ache.
I’m ready for cold nights and warm hands.
I’m ready for this blonde to fade out, slowly.
I’m ready to go back to visit my north philadelphia kids.
I’m ready to sit out back with Jesse and have a beer.
I’m ready for the big picture, not just a bunch of little ones.
I’m ready for those Sunday morning coffees with my mom.
I’m ready for the Atlantic ocean this time around.
I’m ready to sleep through a night without waking up.
I’m ready to catch up, can we catch up?
I’m ready for my dad to say, “There’s my girl.”

Fall always feels like a fresh start.
Never January, never at the countdown.
Only when I smell the leaves.

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